Cheap Frills

“Why do you like me?”
“Because I feel like I don’t have to impress you I can just be myself. Why do you like me?”
“Because you make me feel ok”

Oh god thinking back to last night I almost want to gag and it’s not from being sick. The amount of cuteness it’s just… just… ugh awful and I loved it. But before I get into I have to start at the beginning of the night. I’m standing on Robbie’s door step and right as he answers the door my mom and Uni yell “Make him come out we want to see him” So I do and this is what I get “Wow he’s hairy” I couldn’t help but burst out laughing. Then the drinking began fallowed by 20 billion questions and hand holding. (Wait isn’t that how I got in all that trouble with Paul?) I’m not sure if it was the alcohol or just the fact I trust Robbie but every question he asked I answered honestly. Thank god for the alcohol though cause I know damn well that bastard was trying to make me cry. He’s so weird. He answered my questions as well and we got to know each other better. I have to say before I came back to the area I liked Robbie but it was a superficial kind of like. He was cute and funny and therefor I liked him. Knowing him now and finding out his life is pretty crazy on it’s own makes me like him more. That and hearing things like “I like damaged girls because I want to fix them” “I don’t think you could fix me” “I bet I could” Afterward I got really sick off the hard lemonade (like I always do) and ended up throwing up. It was pretty bad but at least I got a hug. Then I ended up sleeping in his bed, with him, and we cuddled. It was awesome you know minus being ill. It was nice to be that vulnerable and open to someone and actually be safe. He didn’t push or pressure anything like Paul. Except what Paul did still has me feeling uneasy and a little on guard and I feel really bad about it and he feels awkward. It’s not that I don’t want to kiss Robbie, ok I kind really want to, but every time he kissed me I just froze up. I can’t say I know but I’m pretty sure he’s nothing like Paul but who can say anything about the future? Oh well I guess I’ll just wait and see.

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